Like Pulling Teeth

I spent 3.5 hours in the Dentist's office today.  I haven't been to a Dentist in at least 5 years, probably more.  It's funny, because I'm religious about brushing my teeth, and constantly conscious of my oral hygiene.  Just, something about what that chair represents - enduring the invasive exploration, the unwelcomed intimacy.  I cringe when I consider how vulnerable I feel.  And true to character, I avoid, shy away, ignore.  Four plus years in the little 'Burg, and I had yet to find a Dentist.

Enter Sinus Trouble, Gum Infections, Pain.  Eventually, ignoring the problem became too difficult.  Finally, I knew I had to face my fears, and ask for help.  I got a recommendation, made an appointment, had a consultation, and left the office today feeling like my mouth had a new lease on life.  Enter Acceptance, Gratitude, Relief.

While I was in the chair today, I started comparing the process to the bigger picture.  Wouldn't it be grand if we could take our psyche in for an overhaul, after 5 years of beating it down, holding it in, refusing to acknowledge the negative effects of avoidance?  Wouldn't it be freeing if we knew we could shed our emotional shackles in less than 4 hours, and leave with a newfound hope?

The Hygienist scaled my teeth, removing small bits of tartar from under my gums.  She said they act like splinters - sneaking their way in, and creating irritation, inflammation, discomfort.  Once removed, they  heal, and relief comes almost instantly.  I started thinking about the splinters in my brain.  Sharp reminders of pain points, prickles of discomfort, shards of regret and defeat.  Wouldn't it be nice if we could do some internal scaling; if we could instantly remove these splinters from our brains?

So, she asks - How often do I floss?  Flossing once a day is her recommendation.  Flossing prevents plaque from depositing between the teeth; prevents food particles from getting stuck in the spaces; prevents these invaders from promoting decay.  It makes perfect sense, yes?  And doesn't that premise hold true everywhere?  And I think about the spaces in my life - the holes, the voids, the gaps - the spaces between who I am and who I want to be.  And I consider - what gets in the way?  What promotes decay?  Grief, regret, anxiety, fear - to name a few.  They're attracted to the spaces, they fester in the voids.  And I know she's right.  We need to floss every day.  We need to fight the decay, with everything we have.  We need to protect ourselves from the invasions.

I have some work to do - some polishing, some fillings, some commitment to caring for myself.  The biggest risk is a cracked tooth that was filled many, many years ago.  The metal filling shows through the side of the tooth, and the wall is so thin that it might just collapse when the Dentist tries to replace the filling.  If this should happen, he'll need to crown the tooth.  Sounds OK to me.  Crown - like a fortress, for a tooth.  A protective wall to reinforce the exterior, to maintain the integrity of the original casing.  Is that a bad thing?  What if we could do that with the psyche?  Take a cavity, hollow it out, fill it back up, seal it in, and encase the exterior to cover the cracks?  What if we could protect ourselves from falling apart, by putting up a wall?

And there's an additional risk that the crack might spread, that it might move down to the root.  If that happens, a root canal is warranted.  Enter Fear, Panic, Flight.  I'm not sure I can face this right now, and I ask the Dentist - What does it mean?  How much will it hurt?  He tries not to scare me, and I appreciate the consideration, but what exactly is a root canal?

"A root canal is a treatment used to repair and save a tooth that is badly decayed or becomes infected. During a root canal procedure, the nerve and pulp are removed and the inside of the tooth is cleaned and sealed. Without treatment, the tissue surrounding the tooth will become infected and abscesses may form."


According to the Doc, the root canal is a much simpler procedure these days.  Clean out the root, seal it up - and you're good to go.  And again, wouldn't that be grand?  What if we could take a look at our roots, extract the toxic, remove the vulnerable pulp, seal it up, and move on?  Wouldn't we all be lining up for root canals?   Wouldn't we welcome these new leases on life?  


So, I guess my point is - I stumbled on a lot of parallels today.  By opening my mouth, I opened my mind.  By allowing myself to be vulnerable, I welcomed an opportunity to be reborn.  And I think you can learn a lot from visiting the Dentist.  Scale down, floss daily, polish regularly, protect yourself, and keep your roots in perspective.  When it's time to extract and move on - try your best to do a mental root canal.  It's not as clean as a dental procedure, but it's worth a try.  


Next cleansing, April 12th.  Stay tuned.


- L.